Saturday 20 March 2010

Things That Make You Go Hmmm…

1. You receive emails telling you about opportunities to work from home and earn £5K a week, so why hasn’t the writer taken them?

2. Humans plod along exactly like penguins when there’s ice on the pavement. Will penguins walk like humans on dry land?

3. Ever been to a Nigerian party and, all of a sudden, the DJ starts playing Midnight Crew’s Igwe, Shackles by Mary Mary, or any music by Yinka Aiyefele or Kirk Franklin? Look around at those women who topple the tables and chairs over in a rush to get to the dance area; they probably spent the previous day at the babalowo’s.

4. Or been to a Nigerian church where a simple prayer is turned into a fervent arm-thrusting-attack-the-ceiling event by three or four people? Watch them; they likely spent the previous day with those referred to in item 3. above, or they are the same people.

5. Women who spray perfume up their dresses as they leave for dinner dates. Its not as if their date suddenly is going to duck under the table during dinner and start biting off tufts from their delicate parts, I know I wouldn’t, so what’s going on?

6. Men who spray cologne unto their palms; make the mistake of shaking their hand and they transmit these cheap, cloying, synthetic smells to you like some infectious decease. For some reason, these men favour polyester shirts, therefore they constitute a mortal danger to anyone wearing a pace maker as they routinely discharge static electricity when shaking hands.

7. How would you recognise a group of Nigerian men at a bar? Bottles of Courvessier, Martell and Hennessy fill the table at a ratio of one bottle to two people, tight TM shirts strapping overindulged torsos, some with dark glasses in a darkened venue.

35 comments:

mizchif said...

I hmmmmmm.. along with you, starting at number 1. Like really if it's that easy why isn't everyone doing it?
And notice how those preaching get rich quick methods always look impoverished.

NoLimit said...

This didn't make me go hmmmmm...
It made me go...MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
Tew funny...yet so true!!!lol

Jennifer A. said...

#2, 3, & 4 really made me laugh. That's just wrong...lol @ "or they are the same people." What if that's just how they like to pray? LOL Jinta.

Penguins will never walk like human beings. They were not created for that jare!

Jinta said...

* mizchif - "i can make you a millionaire, however, pay £150 for the seminar".

* no limit - sign of the times

* jaycee - the need to attract attention by those people is what gives them away

rethots said...

Hmmm, where have i been?

Afrobabe said...

long time...

Jinta said...

* rethots - lol. you tell us

* afro - my wife in another life (or is it this one?). i've missed you. lemme go see

doll (retired blogger) said...

LOL..no 1...so on point

Jinta said...

* doll - thanks

misspumping said...

i am going to patent my thoughts cos i have had these same thots. so spot on
well captured

Myne said...

Jinta,

LOL...some of these things make me go hmmm too, but not to the same conclusions. Your thoughts should be marketed...LWKMD at 2,3,4,9,10...

LovePaprika said...

lol honey u r not losing ur cynicism anytime soon!

Rebirth said...

HMMMMM.....

lmao @ no 2 and 3

SHE said...

No 5: who knows what will happen directly after dinner?!

No 7: Hear! Hear!

Chris Ogunlowo said...

#6. Ayanma!

Jinta said...

* misspumping - this means i get a share of the royalties

* myne - thanks, i'm in the market ofr anything that will make me money

* lovepaprika - omg! i'm trying to lose it

* funms - i see you went 'hmmm'

* she - then the bobo should wait, what's the point of doing that before flossing?

* aloofar - lol. i see you didn't say 'anyama' to no. 5. well done, my brother

Sherri said...

LOL.
abeg, how u take know #5?
i have seen this being done even just to go out..

one friend did #5 right after getting waxed down yonder, it was def a youtube moment.lol

#6 too funny! i don't think they spray it, me thinks the cologne is so cheap they have to apply it with their hands cos it don't come in a spray bottle.

Anonymous said...

This actually did make me go hmmm about the cologne thing mehn I swear those men are trying to suffocate us to death with it.

Anonymous said...

funny

Jinta said...

* sherri - ...or theyhave a whole tub of it and paint take a soak...

* pass - thank you...and you too

* suru - the asault of the 'colognists'

* teija - thanks

darkelcee said...

lol! no 7 and 4 are so correct!

how are you doing?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahaha "overindulged torsos"

Classic.

How now?

olaoluwatomi said...

probably spent the last day at a babalawos..... hmm how did you know?:))

bumight said...

ure spot on on the tight TM lewin shirts and smedium suits!

prashant said...

notice how those preaching get rich quick methods always look impoverished.
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Chris Ogunlowo said...

Where is Mr. Jinta?

♥♫♪nyemoni♫♪♥ said...

Hola Jintah...ahhhhhhhh....LOL...Long time!! How are you these yrs? Still bloggin I C! HOLA!

Chris Ogunlowo said...

Mr. Jintaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sherri said...

Ogbeni Jintus! come out and play nah....

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

come on back...

Queen of My Castle said...

Ahhhhhh, Jinta. How are you?

LG said...

jiji see as we dey beg u, abeg update

Unknown said...

LOL. I am also baffled why do some people do these stuff. :)


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Carol Lee said...

LOL. I personally the "fervent arm-thrusting, attack the ceiling" and the perfume part. LOL. This is the most common of the list.

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Carol Lee said...

Of all, i think No.4 is the one most easy to relate with Nigeria, i just saw it via web. But i have to admit that in other parts of the world. I am not against with it too as i respect other people's faith.

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