I have succumbed to the quite forceful (thanks, dscr?be) and gentle (what a voice Abbie has) prodding to update (having just discovered from the link that they may be one and the same) and when deciding what to write, I discovered something about myself today – my posts are always symptomatic of my moods. I have 3 or 4 posts swirling around my head (with apologies to ‘in my head and around me…’) at any given time, however, some just do not sit right with me to publish, depending on my mood, no prizes for guessing what my mood is at the end of this post. For you guys who see shrinks, I think I just qualified (as a shrink, that is), so let’s negotiate.
Those who read my previous posts about ‘irritating habits’ and ‘revolting habits’ know that there are some things that just, well… irritate me. I don’t think I’m pernickety, I certainly hope not, but some things just do a rumba on my nerves, especially when they’re oft repeated.
Here goes:
1. Women who violently pat their scalps in order to salve the itch caused by their weaves or attachments. You see them everywhere; in shops, while they're driving, walking down the street, all over the place. They also always appear to be of African extraction (someone please correct me if I’m wrong). Why, friends, why? If it itches that much, it means you have dandruff or fleas or ticks or something. Why not simply take off the weave and shampoo the hair, or don’t wear it, you’ll give yourself a brain haemorrhage. Am I being simple?
2. Long posts, some of which are made less attractive by being published in 8 point font size. Come on, one gratification from our posts is when others read them, so how do you think one would feel after spending 30 minutes and aching eyes reading one?
3. Music on blogs – I listen to an eclectic collection (remember the iTunes tag?) and would not impose my taste on anyone, besides, listening to music puts me off reading and I get tired of stretching to turn down my speakers each time. I must confess, though, that I heard Gongo Aso for the first time on Sha’s blog, even then, I think it would be a good idea to get one of these players that do not start automatically.
4. My pet hate – people who do stretching exercises on plane aisles. My ex-wife used to do that and it embarrassed the boxers off me (probably why I’m still traumatised). I agree that we did a lot of those 10 and 11 hour trips to Florida, LA and Texas, but come on, grunting down the aisle after 1 hour of flight time? I feel there are places such as in front of the emergency doors where one could surreptitiously stretch, anything other than that appears to me to be an attitude of ‘notice me’, which doesn’t say much for one’s self-esteem.
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Monday, 14 July 2008
Do We Need Pre-Nups?
You’ve met the woman of your dreams, or, for that matter, the man. (S)he’s charming, sweet, sensitive, supportive, romantic and hard-working. As an added bonus, (s)he’s tremendously good-looking and also has a good job. (OK. Here’s where the alarm bells start ringing – how come (s)he’s available, are all the other men/women walking around blindly which enables this extremely eligible (wo)man to fly below the radar? For the benefit of this post, we’ll ignore those wretched alarm bells).
So you’re a practical so and so and decide a pre-nup is a good idea. There might be tears ('it means you don’t love me'); there may be lies ('poor (wo)man, how can I convince you not everyone is like that?'); there will be reassurance ('it’s just a crying shame that you haven’t met the right (wo)man'); there can be reverse psychology ('my family may not be wealthy...'); there certainly will be indignation ('what do you mean? How dare you? My father had 50 times what you have before he died'; or 'before someone duped him out of £50 billion'; or 'before my mum fell ill and he spent N75 trillion on her treatment abroad'). How do you navigate these obstacles?
…Or, maybe you still believe in the goodness of human nature, you being love-struck and all and thinking: what the heck is this fellow writing about? Where has he been? What sort of shady characters has he met? Pre-nup kó, pre-nup ni (in other words, don’t talk to me about pre-nup). Anyways, I have nothing of value that a future spouse can lay claim to if things go sour, at the most, a DVD player, a house and a car.
Did you just say nothing?! You may end up finding out that ‘nothing’ becomes ‘everything’. Ask Lanre who is now stacking shelves at night in the supermarket after he lost ‘nothing’. Ask Louis who has developed physical complications after mental illness when he lost ‘nothing’. Do ask “Sade” who felt she had to emigrate to Canada when she lost ‘nothing’, which included her erstwhile husband instructing a solicitor to claim a half share of her house on the day she was supposed to complete a sale, after he walked out and said he wanted nothing to do with her and her house.
Maybe we should use the case of Mr and Mrs Crossley to bring it home. In the UK, pre-nups are not as binding as in the US, however, this is a very interesting case. I quote a magazine: Mr and Mrs Crossley ‘were independently wealthy at the time of their marriage (indeed, Mrs Crossley had accumulated £18 million from three earlier divorces {that’s $36m to you folks across the pond}). Their marriage … had the benefit of a pre-nuptial agreement. When Mrs Crossley sought to extricate herself from the agreement in order to bring financial claims against her fourth husband, the Court of Appeal rejected her claim, making it clear that this was exactly the sort of case where a pre-nuptial agreement should be truly binding’.
A true example, albeit an extreme one. Your thoughts?
So you’re a practical so and so and decide a pre-nup is a good idea. There might be tears ('it means you don’t love me'); there may be lies ('poor (wo)man, how can I convince you not everyone is like that?'); there will be reassurance ('it’s just a crying shame that you haven’t met the right (wo)man'); there can be reverse psychology ('my family may not be wealthy...'); there certainly will be indignation ('what do you mean? How dare you? My father had 50 times what you have before he died'; or 'before someone duped him out of £50 billion'; or 'before my mum fell ill and he spent N75 trillion on her treatment abroad'). How do you navigate these obstacles?
…Or, maybe you still believe in the goodness of human nature, you being love-struck and all and thinking: what the heck is this fellow writing about? Where has he been? What sort of shady characters has he met? Pre-nup kó, pre-nup ni (in other words, don’t talk to me about pre-nup). Anyways, I have nothing of value that a future spouse can lay claim to if things go sour, at the most, a DVD player, a house and a car.
Did you just say nothing?! You may end up finding out that ‘nothing’ becomes ‘everything’. Ask Lanre who is now stacking shelves at night in the supermarket after he lost ‘nothing’. Ask Louis who has developed physical complications after mental illness when he lost ‘nothing’. Do ask “Sade” who felt she had to emigrate to Canada when she lost ‘nothing’, which included her erstwhile husband instructing a solicitor to claim a half share of her house on the day she was supposed to complete a sale, after he walked out and said he wanted nothing to do with her and her house.
Maybe we should use the case of Mr and Mrs Crossley to bring it home. In the UK, pre-nups are not as binding as in the US, however, this is a very interesting case. I quote a magazine: Mr and Mrs Crossley ‘were independently wealthy at the time of their marriage (indeed, Mrs Crossley had accumulated £18 million from three earlier divorces {that’s $36m to you folks across the pond}). Their marriage … had the benefit of a pre-nuptial agreement. When Mrs Crossley sought to extricate herself from the agreement in order to bring financial claims against her fourth husband, the Court of Appeal rejected her claim, making it clear that this was exactly the sort of case where a pre-nuptial agreement should be truly binding’.
A true example, albeit an extreme one. Your thoughts?
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
Mommy Tagged Me
I’m wary about these tags and was doing the slump-over-desk-wearing-a-somnolent-face thing then got curious about the sort of music I have on my PCs. I’ve got about 12gb worth, however, I mostly listen to music while driving (not enough relaxation time – I think I might have murdered sleep in my past life).
The rules…
1. Put Your iTunes/ Music player on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
Tag 5 people
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Tired of being alone – Al Green
[this one na lie]
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Thinking about your love – Kenny Thomas
[all that love dey fear me o]
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
(Some song I listed as Track 4) - Orlando Owoh
[whatever it says, I agree with Orlando’s chemical-induced comments]
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Instant Replay - Dan Hartman
[no, no – too tired today]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jam on it – Nucleus
[I need to find a loftier purpose, I think]
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
She’s gotta have it – Al Yankovich(‘s version of Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me)
[no comment, omg!]
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Keep it coming – KC & The Sunshine Band
[even I get exhausted…]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Bass In the Planet – Planet Rock
[probably true in a convoluted way]
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hip Hop Hooray – Naughty By Nature
[na wa o]
WHAT IS 2+2?
Through the Years – Kenny rogers
[even I cannot put a spin on this]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens
[if I had one, this would have been so true]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Midnight Train to Georgia – Gladys Knight
[that song rocks – maybe it’s midnight train to t… (don’t ask)]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sweet Mother – Skepta (Rap Version)
[my mum would laugh herself into the ground at this]
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Second Time Around – Shalamar
[ain’t going to happen]
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Do The Hustle – KC & The Sunshine Band
[ha. Chineke. This thing na oracle o]
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Coupe Bibamba – Awilo Longomba
[your guess is as good as mine]
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Just a touch of Love – Aurra
[been there, done it]
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Lucille – Kenny Rogers
[Allah seriki!!!]
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Ashikeke – George Jahra
[Ghanaian song - rythmic]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Instrumental – Nigeria National Anthem
[lol]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stay Just A Little Bit Longer – Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs
[God forbid]
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Laffy Taffy - D4L
I tag Omosewa and Sherri (because I know they go under the radar with these tags and escape)
The rules…
1. Put Your iTunes/ Music player on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
Tag 5 people
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Tired of being alone – Al Green
[this one na lie]
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Thinking about your love – Kenny Thomas
[all that love dey fear me o]
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
(Some song I listed as Track 4) - Orlando Owoh
[whatever it says, I agree with Orlando’s chemical-induced comments]
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Instant Replay - Dan Hartman
[no, no – too tired today]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jam on it – Nucleus
[I need to find a loftier purpose, I think]
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
She’s gotta have it – Al Yankovich(‘s version of Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me)
[no comment, omg!]
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Keep it coming – KC & The Sunshine Band
[even I get exhausted…]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Bass In the Planet – Planet Rock
[probably true in a convoluted way]
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hip Hop Hooray – Naughty By Nature
[na wa o]
WHAT IS 2+2?
Through the Years – Kenny rogers
[even I cannot put a spin on this]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens
[if I had one, this would have been so true]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Midnight Train to Georgia – Gladys Knight
[that song rocks – maybe it’s midnight train to t… (don’t ask)]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sweet Mother – Skepta (Rap Version)
[my mum would laugh herself into the ground at this]
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Second Time Around – Shalamar
[ain’t going to happen]
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Do The Hustle – KC & The Sunshine Band
[ha. Chineke. This thing na oracle o]
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Coupe Bibamba – Awilo Longomba
[your guess is as good as mine]
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Just a touch of Love – Aurra
[been there, done it]
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Lucille – Kenny Rogers
[Allah seriki!!!]
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Ashikeke – George Jahra
[Ghanaian song - rythmic]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Instrumental – Nigeria National Anthem
[lol]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stay Just A Little Bit Longer – Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs
[God forbid]
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Laffy Taffy - D4L
I tag Omosewa and Sherri (because I know they go under the radar with these tags and escape)
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Goodbye Yesterday, Welcome today…
I remember the Nigeria Police Band singing that song to welcome back the Nigerian Commonwealth Games contingent at the then Ikeja airport many years ago. A song I find particularly melodious but have not been able to get the lyrics to it. If any of you smart ‘uns out there know the words please send them my way.
Yes, Lagos was interesting as usual. Some rest, a lot of noise (from electricity generating sets and vehicular horns and vocal chords that have had no modicum of training or temperance all their lives), to too much pounded yam and much more Star lager. Someone remind me to work on my gut.
The bane of the self-employed – I had spent my last week before travel and my first week on return on intensive work – and another few days just laughing my head off at the various comments about my last post: Inde, Afro, QomC, Standtall, ‘Sewa, Mommy, Fresh, Uzezi, Pink, Darkelcee, Allied, Doja, even In My Head… (that enigma), came out to play. I think I should go away more often. I miss you all ( I sound like a politician), well…some of you, I’m back now and will be doing the rounds and posting more often.
There, indeed, is broadband in Lagos as I was reminded and Laspapi even sports one in his bedroom, but if you knew the way he works, you would commend me for the courage of being able to kick him off his laptop the few times I had to check my office mail; and you will never catch me at an internet café. I would have taken Darkelcee’s invite to use hers, but she did not give directions…
Yes, Lagos was interesting as usual. Some rest, a lot of noise (from electricity generating sets and vehicular horns and vocal chords that have had no modicum of training or temperance all their lives), to too much pounded yam and much more Star lager. Someone remind me to work on my gut.
The bane of the self-employed – I had spent my last week before travel and my first week on return on intensive work – and another few days just laughing my head off at the various comments about my last post: Inde, Afro, QomC, Standtall, ‘Sewa, Mommy, Fresh, Uzezi, Pink, Darkelcee, Allied, Doja, even In My Head… (that enigma), came out to play. I think I should go away more often. I miss you all ( I sound like a politician), well…some of you, I’m back now and will be doing the rounds and posting more often.
There, indeed, is broadband in Lagos as I was reminded and Laspapi even sports one in his bedroom, but if you knew the way he works, you would commend me for the courage of being able to kick him off his laptop the few times I had to check my office mail; and you will never catch me at an internet café. I would have taken Darkelcee’s invite to use hers, but she did not give directions…
Monday, 12 May 2008
A Present For Aijay
I had wanted to do this for about seven months now, ever since I started blogging, however, time and events always seemed to conspire to put it on the back burner.
You know how you see people's 'names' on blogville and you sort of know them by their comments and with where they visit, Aijay was one I was reminded of by frequently seeing a car drive by with a personalised registration that closely matches her name although I had never been to her blog pages before today and our paths did not cross on blogville.
Again, a few weeks ago, I saw a post by someone I cannot now recollect, asking 'where is Aijay?', and I was reminded to write this. It took this long because the car would not 'sit still' until a couple of weeks ago when I went to make some purchases at Staples the stationers, and i saw it parked. Took a quick picture with my phone, and now, here we are Aijay, a present for you.
You know how you see people's 'names' on blogville and you sort of know them by their comments and with where they visit, Aijay was one I was reminded of by frequently seeing a car drive by with a personalised registration that closely matches her name although I had never been to her blog pages before today and our paths did not cross on blogville.
Again, a few weeks ago, I saw a post by someone I cannot now recollect, asking 'where is Aijay?', and I was reminded to write this. It took this long because the car would not 'sit still' until a couple of weeks ago when I went to make some purchases at Staples the stationers, and i saw it parked. Took a quick picture with my phone, and now, here we are Aijay, a present for you.
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
I Met A Bird
So it was bank holiday weekend. It also happened to be one of those weeks when I realised I was not being productive, only marking time. I was looking forward to the holiday (only in the UK would one look forward to a one day holiday with so much craving).
So I carried myself to Switzerland for the weekend, did a jiggle between Geneva and Lausanne, even found time on Saturday to make a boat trip across Lake Léman into Evian in France (the weather was not bad and the view good – snow-capped mountains and all),
where I met a bird, as I was sitting by a mobile snack stall with a couple of friends, having a beer, ice cream, apple juice, water and burgers, in no particular order.
The bird flirted outrageously with me, her friend very close by. I wondered to myself: how times change. Look at me sitting down with an indulgent smile on my face, doing nothing but enjoying the attention all the same. Had this happened years ago in Lagos, the bird would already be on her back, or in my hands.
What is it with these birds in the West that they do not appear to have a fear of man, I wonder?
So I carried myself to Switzerland for the weekend, did a jiggle between Geneva and Lausanne, even found time on Saturday to make a boat trip across Lake Léman into Evian in France (the weather was not bad and the view good – snow-capped mountains and all),
where I met a bird, as I was sitting by a mobile snack stall with a couple of friends, having a beer, ice cream, apple juice, water and burgers, in no particular order.
The bird flirted outrageously with me, her friend very close by. I wondered to myself: how times change. Look at me sitting down with an indulgent smile on my face, doing nothing but enjoying the attention all the same. Had this happened years ago in Lagos, the bird would already be on her back, or in my hands.
What is it with these birds in the West that they do not appear to have a fear of man, I wonder?
Monday, 28 April 2008
Tagged...
I was tagged by guerreiranigeriana to do this. I had not intended to be involved in any tagging because they reveal too much unless one decides not to be truthful, but being sure no man has ever said no to guerreiranigeriana, I do not intend to be the first.
The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you - just did
2. Mention the rules in your blog - doing that right now
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours - OMG!
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them - the fun part, but how do I know who's been tagged before?
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged - with pleasure
1. In public places, I always sit at the back or with my back to the wall, except when not possible: in church, in restaurants, seminars, parties. I like to see what's going on and am paranoid about people just walking up behind me
2. I dont like surprises (a spinoff from 1.) - no matter how pleasant, they make me apprehensive. If you're buying me a Lear Jet, just tell me, dont take me to the hanger to show me (chances are I will refuse to go with you anyway)
3. I dislike guessing games. Dont call me and ask: 'guess who's speaking?' Dont ask me to guess who you met on the way to work today (for crying out loud, there are 65 million people in the UK today and counting)
4. I think women look much sexier dressed than undressed. Nothing like a well-dressed woman to get the juices flowing and you thinking about tearing her dress off
5. I like cars. When I become a millionaire, I'll probably have 20
6. The sound of children playing always fills me with bliss
That's me done.
I tag lighty; sherri;; sha; omosewa; darkelcee; tobenna
The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you - just did
2. Mention the rules in your blog - doing that right now
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours - OMG!
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them - the fun part, but how do I know who's been tagged before?
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged - with pleasure
1. In public places, I always sit at the back or with my back to the wall, except when not possible: in church, in restaurants, seminars, parties. I like to see what's going on and am paranoid about people just walking up behind me
2. I dont like surprises (a spinoff from 1.) - no matter how pleasant, they make me apprehensive. If you're buying me a Lear Jet, just tell me, dont take me to the hanger to show me (chances are I will refuse to go with you anyway)
3. I dislike guessing games. Dont call me and ask: 'guess who's speaking?' Dont ask me to guess who you met on the way to work today (for crying out loud, there are 65 million people in the UK today and counting)
4. I think women look much sexier dressed than undressed. Nothing like a well-dressed woman to get the juices flowing and you thinking about tearing her dress off
5. I like cars. When I become a millionaire, I'll probably have 20
6. The sound of children playing always fills me with bliss
That's me done.
I tag lighty; sherri;; sha; omosewa; darkelcee; tobenna
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