Friday, 11 January 2008

Revolting Habits

I’m not a queasy person and will steadily look at and tolerate things that would make most people grimace, cringe or wince with discomfort; however, an incident occurred lately that got me thinking of repulsive habits.

1. Last Saturday I went to West Ham, to a place I normally go to listen to my taste of Afro hip-hop and r‘n’b. It’s not exactly an upmarket place but it suits my quest for anonymity. I stood hugging Remi and fondling Stella (for the uninitiated, that is sipping Remy Martin brandy and using Stella Artois beer as a chaser).
Then this giant of a man comes and stands right in front of me, so close I can smell his three day old sweat and my arm brushes against his back each time I took a swig of my beer, which does not appear to bother him. He looks like Idi Amin and stands like Mandingo so my inclination to tap him on the back and request he find his own space was cowed. I glanced back and a couple were standing there; I would have invaded their space had I moved back. While I am contemplating how to deal with this colossus and looking at the back of his head with the huge folds of skin where the head joins his shoulders (he has no neck), he suddenly plants his fingers behind his head, uses thumb and middle finger to part the biggest crease of skin and scratches away at the now exposed crust with his index finger…I could imagine the flakes of previously imprisoned dead matter falling into my brandy and I felt sick.

Found my way home and could not eat for thinking about disgusting habits.

2. On my way to work in the tube about 12 years ago, I was absent-mindedly looking at this well-dressed couple. The man was picking his nose and sucking the contents into his mouth. Ugh! I took a hard look at both of them and wondered why a woman so elegant did not see anything wrong with her man’s actions and, as if to answer my question, she dug her elbow into her side, pointed her index finger toward her face, proceeded to pick the bogey stuck between the corner of her eye and the bridge of her nose, and, I kid you not, put it into her mouth. That was the first time I saw that done and the last time anyone saw me in the London Underground.

3. A disgusting habit here is spit cleaning. That is when someone puts his or her finger to their mouth to obtain some spittle in order to clean a mark on their body. Years ago a girl tried to help me clean marks to the sides of my face caused by tears streaming from my eyes because of bitterly cold winds, with her own spit, mind you, and my reaction was fierce. I’ve seen mothers use spittle to clean marks on their children. Ahh! I feel sick.

4. About public loo hygiene. Let me tell you ladies out there, when you go out, about 70% or more of blokes using the loo do not wash their hands afterwards. I don’t care what we say; I see it, every time, and stand in wonder. This probably happens with the ladies as well, however, I’ve not been fortunate to find myself in a ladies’ loo yet. Clubs, pubs, airports, restaurants, bars, everywhere, dirty, grubby, MRSA infected fingers are coming out to embrace you.

5. Eating loudly. I have an acquaintance here that chomps through food like he’s just been released from Guantanamo or Kirikiri. I’ve tried the power of suggestion several times and even told him outright a couple of times, but he appears to take offence when I correct him. Suffice to say, I cannot eat when he is.

That’s my list of disgusting habits. I felt a little unsettled so I thought: why go through this on your own when your blog friends are out there to share with?


Nicky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicky said...

Once again you have made my day by putting a huge much needed smile on my face. I was asked by the senior partner last night to cover a final hearing today and I have not even seen the brief!

This is so funny. Its true, some people do have nasty habits and some I think aren’t even aware that they are doing it. I notice on the train that some, while reading the paper plunge their fingers up their nose with such ferocity and zeal that you’d think they were mining for gold! Then they want to shake your hand !! Ugh.

Nyemoni said...

Ahhhh....Juinta....Ewwwwwwww! na wah for you o! I can't even believe that I read to the end...Disgusting as you said...Ewww...thanks for irritating me! LOL!

laspapi said...

Jintu, I wonder at the nose/eye picking and eating thing. Is it a cultural thing? It must be. You'd get slapped in a bus in Nigeria by a complete stranger if you tried it. Or they'd all get down and leave you to enjoy your bus ride all by yourself.

anonymous gal said...

Yuck YUck Yuck. i coyuld not finish readin.jeez u shld see ma face.stopped at the nose pickin eating part yuck.

EXSENO said...

I too usually have a really strong stomach, but you just succeeded in making me sick. I bet I can top it, but it is so gross I think you would get sick and I'm to nice to do that to you. hehe

Sherri said...

quadruple yuck!
now i know why they call it "digging for treasures"

i have a colleague who no one dare sit with at lunch for fear of shrapnel.

the last guy who didn't heed the warning,let's just say he had to go home...he needed a shower and we all lost our lunches.

Afrobabe said...

I actually broke up with a guy cos of his noisy eating...he grunted throughout the whole meal like he had never seen food before...couldnt bare the tot of there been an happily ever after with him...

would have just snapped one day and killed him while he was eating...CSI no dey naija now, abi?

ibilola said...

1. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
2. ugggggggggggggh
4. ewwwwwwww
5. Just plain annoying

Olu said...

omg...i hve a frend who wakes up evry night to rub her nose so ferociously dat I can hear it in ma own room..

Isi said...

lol!!! now that couple in the tube, is it suppose to be some form of unconditional love? 'come sweaty, smelly armpits... stuffy nostrils, i promise to love u till death do us part?' hehehehe!
Jinta dearie how have u been?

Jinta said...

@ nicky - glad i made your day. what are friends for?

@ moni - i was determined to share that. could not bear it alone

@ 'papi - ppl should get slapped upside the head more, it will help.

@ anon gal - your face looks like i feel

@ exseno - so glad to be of service. since my post was so gory, i beg, share yours

@ sherri - lol. you sure it is safe to share the building with that guy lunchtime with all the shrapnel flying around?

@ afro - why does it not surprise me that eventually you would have snapped and kicked the poor chomper in the teeth? One downside for arranged marriages.

@ ibilola - sitting here smiling cos you understand my feeling on the post. i feel better already

@ olu - i avoid touching bannisters and door handles as well. you should have seen the man who blew his nose and wiped his hand on the bannister - am i still going on? Ugh.

@ isi - that one will be love in a pigsty. the image haunts me still.
me fine, thanks

pamelastitch said...

All I can say is Yucky Yuck Yuck

But this post dey funny sha.

el~correcta said...

hey jita,just back from church,see you have something new...and really important here.

of all these bad bad habits,the one i sinply can't bear is when someone around me eats and chomps loudly. It totally and absolutely ticks me off. it'll take all i can to not cross over and whack that person on the head.I mean,what will it take for noe to keep a closed mouth when chewing???

By the way,the putting the bogey from her eyes in her mouth is a seems absolutely undoable!!Ingenious :)

Ms. emmotions said...

gosh nasty habits i must say, but sori dear, did u really mean that part where a gal picked ur face with a spittle? gosh ! must have smelt fowl.

nice read generally,

am still waiting for ur update on my act the bitch post tho



ah, oh my. too funny. some of those were way too disgusting for words.


Onome said...

oooo God!!! clean stuff from one nose and in d mouth?!!!! am ill!!! my own disgusting habits walking and suddenly spitting...or driving and doing same...and wats with dat horrible sound guys make with their noses and throats at d same time.....aahh!!!! God I soooo dont want to get started!

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

the guy in the bar was just disgusting and that couple are a mess WTF

As for the spit wiping ewww


Queen of My Castle said...

UGH! This post was disgusting, especially the guy with no neck and well dressed but sickening couple. Where do you come up with these things?!?! LOL

Queen of My Castle said...

LMAO @ Afrobabe...I feel you on that one. I loathe eating next to noisy eaters.

TheAfroBeat said...

eeek!!! these were truuuly disgusting!! The nose/eye pickers especially, but then again the guy scratching the crust (i feel like you had it bad but think about us who have to use our imagination to picture it!) And you've just killed me with the loo information...that's TERRIBLE, do we need to introduce this into kindergarten/primary school curricula? You've opened my eyes and i don't like what i've seen :(

other than that, great humour! thanks for sharing, and i look forward to reading more of your blog.

oh and @ Laspapi, i've definitely seen a nigerian girl (now woman) do this on numerous occasions, but i'd look away and pretend not to see, out of embarrassment (weird, eh? Same with a colleague who chews incredibly loudly...and no one says anything (including me!))

Jinta said...

@ pam - …and yuckity!!

@ el~ - you should have seen her examine it like a new-found species before rolling it into a ball and putting it in her month. Ugh!

@ ms emmo – she did o, I still feel it today and many moons have passed

@ solo – another one whose day I made. that’s for disappearing for a while

@ Onome – lol. you’re so expressive

@ fresh – thank you. still cannot eat when I remember the guy at the bar

@ QomC – I don’t know o, me sef tire for what my eyes have seen

@ afrobeat – thanks for the talk-up. glad to share, it was killing me

Florida of Free Spirit said...

kai, it's like u really picked them out o. damn i was disguested just reading this. d well-dressed couples just blew me away. ewwwww

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

I don't think your concerns are unfounded:

In addition to those, I would add females/ males who don't know how to keep their homes clean; clothes on the floor, loud talkers on the phone, chewing gum with your mouth open and Nigerians abroad who have no shame and no idea what proper comportment is all about.

Allied said...

I can’t stand it when people spit... i also think using handkerchief is unsanitary... Once it’s used please don’t out it back in your bag or pocket. Ewwwwwwww.

I also concur with catwalq. People please CLEAN UR HOME.

30+ said...

Ew ew ew, I stopped with the crease guy, I refuse to read anymore. It's nearly time for dinner.


Next time gry make you put warning sign on the post fa.

olaoluwatomi said...

terrible habits, i can see that others have added the one i loathe the most spitting---saliva and or phlegm should be swallowed not tossed around the roads as missiles of germ warfare.

Nice blog,

Jinta said...

@ florida – see the kain load wey I bin dey carry alone

@ catwalq- a girl after my own heart, I forgot about loud talkers on the phone, don’t you just want to smack them?

@ allied – spitting is kind of fashionable here now. I mean, ppl just do it as naturally as breathing, and the hanky thing. ugh! cultivating bacteria and then reusing it

@ 30+ - I seem to have elicited a lot of ‘ewww’s and eeewwwww’s with this post. in a perverse way, I’m proud of myself

@ oluwato – ‘missiles of germ warfare’ – that is really funny, but true. don’t be a stranger

Rayo said...

Gross!!! Especially #2

Omosewa said...

Ewwwwwwwww that nasty couple!

How are you?

de'tente said...

totally agree with elcorrecta!the putting the bogey from her eyes in her mouth is most definitely a first.what planet did she drop from?

pamelastitch said...

Lol - the other day, I saw a couple who were so much in love, that they poked their hands into each other's nose and ate the residue...

Now tell me is that disgusting or LOVE.


me ex used to pick his nose and i couldnt stand it luckily he never chewed d bogey though!! but dont they say when u love someone u love their shit habis too?

Jinta said...

@ rayo - i 'gree o

@ omosewe - another 'ewww'. i know, you're welcome

@ de'tente - was a first for me too, and last, thankfully

@ pam - you're jerking my chain?

@ 36" - small wonder he became an ex

Jinta said...

@ omosewa - sorry, my fingers got too excited (when typing your name earlier)

pamelastitch said...

no for real.
I was like fascinated... funny..

guerreiranigeriana said...

kai!!!...number two was the height of disgusting...*shudders and leaves*...

bumight said...

U know I had to come find this one didn't u? hehehe

I know pple (actually, kids) eat the boogey from their nose, but do they eat the one from their eyes too? ewwww.

a week ago, I was standing in line at a gas station. an akata dude was standing in front of me, a little off to the side actually. Dude spits (mucus laced one for that matter) on the floor infront of us, and acts as if nothing happened!
At least when pple spit in naija, they step on it!

PS: this is where u're supposed to say thanks for your wonderul comments on my blog... lol!

AnyaPosh said...

boogers of any kind, whether they be eye boogers, nose boogers...anything basically is catastrophic to my eyes! One day at a luncheon at my church, I caught a grown man "sucking" his own boogers!!!!! I wanted to vomit. What kind of person eats that shit in their old age?

Then with guys using washrooms & not washing their hands, I abhor the idea of that. I can't imagine this..eww eww! That is how my bf will visit those places & not wash his hands and expect me to let him touch my privates...HELLS NAW!!! people with such nasty habits should be whipped in public.

AnyaPosh said...

I like your blog o jare. I just copied the link from that snake girl post & i'm sharing it with my friends.

Jinta said...

* pammy - always knew you were different. fascinated?

* g-nigeriana - you did not feel sorry for me with no.1?

* bumight - i will be requesting your digits and posting them for the whole world to see if you keep saying 'thanks for the comments'

* anya - you're welcome, my friend. i guess its not too common back home only becos somewhone is liable to smack them upside the head when they see them suck on it

Jinta said...

hey! i just created a new english word - somewhone! yay!

Nine said...

Unintentional but eww.

Corporal punishment.Twenty four lashes each with a rawhide whip. I mean,WTF?Still nauseates me.Thanks a lot.

Provided it isn't on me,I'm cool.People kiss,right?

Come to Naija,then u'll get the koko.Jand has spoiled you with running water in public restrooms.And you are unlikely to find MRSA in restrooms anyway.Strictly hospital acquired.Worry about E.coli or Hep A or something.


Want REALLY repulsive?Watch the 2girls1cup video.You will never eat chocolate icecream again.Ever.