Don’t You Just Dislike That?

I have succumbed to the quite forceful (thanks, dscr?be) and gentle (what a voice Abbie has) prodding to update (having just discovered from the link that they may be one and the same) and when deciding what to write, I discovered something about myself today – my posts are always symptomatic of my moods. I have 3 or 4 posts swirling around my head (with apologies to ‘in my head and around me…’) at any given time, however, some just do not sit right with me to publish, depending on my mood, no prizes for guessing what my mood is at the end of this post. For you guys who see shrinks, I think I just qualified (as a shrink, that is), so let’s negotiate.

Those who read my previous posts about ‘irritating habits’ and ‘revolting habits’ know that there are some things that just, well… irritate me. I don’t think I’m pernickety, I certainly hope not, but some things just do a rumba on my nerves, especially when they’re oft repeated.

Here goes:

1. Women who violently pat their scalps in order to salve the itch caused by their weaves or attachments. You see them everywhere; in shops, while they're driving, walking down the street, all over the place. They also always appear to be of African extraction (someone please correct me if I’m wrong). Why, friends, why? If it itches that much, it means you have dandruff or fleas or ticks or something. Why not simply take off the weave and shampoo the hair, or don’t wear it, you’ll give yourself a brain haemorrhage. Am I being simple?

2. Long posts, some of which are made less attractive by being published in 8 point font size. Come on, one gratification from our posts is when others read them, so how do you think one would feel after spending 30 minutes and aching eyes reading one?

3. Music on blogs – I listen to an eclectic collection (remember the iTunes tag?) and would not impose my taste on anyone, besides, listening to music puts me off reading and I get tired of stretching to turn down my speakers each time. I must confess, though, that I heard Gongo Aso for the first time on Sha’s blog, even then, I think it would be a good idea to get one of these players that do not start automatically.

4. My pet hate – people who do stretching exercises on plane aisles. My ex-wife used to do that and it embarrassed the boxers off me (probably why I’m still traumatised). I agree that we did a lot of those 10 and 11 hour trips to Florida, LA and Texas, but come on, grunting down the aisle after 1 hour of flight time? I feel there are places such as in front of the emergency doors where one could surreptitiously stretch, anything other than that appears to me to be an attitude of ‘notice me’, which doesn’t say much for one’s self-esteem.

Do We Need Pre-Nups?

You’ve met the woman of your dreams, or, for that matter, the man. (S)he’s charming, sweet, sensitive, supportive, romantic and hard-working. As an added bonus, (s)he’s tremendously good-looking and also has a good job. (OK. Here’s where the alarm bells start ringing – how come (s)he’s available, are all the other men/women walking around blindly which enables this extremely eligible (wo)man to fly below the radar? For the benefit of this post, we’ll ignore those wretched alarm bells).

So you’re a practical so and so and decide a pre-nup is a good idea. There might be tears ('it means you don’t love me'); there may be lies ('poor (wo)man, how can I convince you not everyone is like that?'); there will be reassurance ('it’s just a crying shame that you haven’t met the right (wo)man'); there can be reverse psychology ('my family may not be wealthy...'); there certainly will be indignation ('what do you mean? How dare you? My father had 50 times what you have before he died'; or 'before someone duped him out of £50 billion'; or 'before my mum fell ill and he spent N75 trillion on her treatment abroad'). How do you navigate these obstacles?

…Or, maybe you still believe in the goodness of human nature, you being love-struck and all and thinking: what the heck is this fellow writing about? Where has he been? What sort of shady characters has he met? Pre-nup kó, pre-nup ni (in other words, don’t talk to me about pre-nup). Anyways, I have nothing of value that a future spouse can lay claim to if things go sour, at the most, a DVD player, a house and a car.

Did you just say nothing?! You may end up finding out that ‘nothing’ becomes ‘everything’. Ask Lanre who is now stacking shelves at night in the supermarket after he lost ‘nothing’. Ask Louis who has developed physical complications after mental illness when he lost ‘nothing’. Do ask “Sade” who felt she had to emigrate to Canada when she lost ‘nothing’, which included her erstwhile husband instructing a solicitor to claim a half share of her house on the day she was supposed to complete a sale, after he walked out and said he wanted nothing to do with her and her house.

Maybe we should use the case of Mr and Mrs Crossley to bring it home. In the UK, pre-nups are not as binding as in the US, however, this is a very interesting case. I quote a magazine: Mr and Mrs Crossley ‘were independently wealthy at the time of their marriage (indeed, Mrs Crossley had accumulated £18 million from three earlier divorces {that’s $36m to you folks across the pond}). Their marriage … had the benefit of a pre-nuptial agreement. When Mrs Crossley sought to extricate herself from the agreement in order to bring financial claims against her fourth husband, the Court of Appeal rejected her claim, making it clear that this was exactly the sort of case where a pre-nuptial agreement should be truly binding’.

A true example, albeit an extreme one. Your thoughts?

Mommy Tagged Me

I’m wary about these tags and was doing the slump-over-desk-wearing-a-somnolent-face thing then got curious about the sort of music I have on my PCs. I’ve got about 12gb worth, however, I mostly listen to music while driving (not enough relaxation time – I think I might have murdered sleep in my past life).

The rules…

1. Put Your iTunes/ Music player on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT

Tag 5 people

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Tired of being alone – Al Green
[this one na lie]

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Thinking about your love – Kenny Thomas
[all that love dey fear me o]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
(Some song I listed as Track 4) - Orlando Owoh
[whatever it says, I agree with Orlando’s chemical-induced comments]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Instant Replay - Dan Hartman
[no, no – too tired today]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Jam on it – Nucleus
[I need to find a loftier purpose, I think]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
She’s gotta have it – Al Yankovich(‘s version of Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me)
[no comment, omg!]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Keep it coming – KC & The Sunshine Band
[even I get exhausted…]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Bass In the Planet – Planet Rock
[probably true in a convoluted way]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hip Hop Hooray – Naughty By Nature
[na wa o]

WHAT IS 2+2?
Through the Years – Kenny rogers
[even I cannot put a spin on this]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens
[if I had one, this would have been so true]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Midnight Train to Georgia – Gladys Knight
[that song rocks – maybe it’s midnight train to t… (don’t ask)]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sweet Mother – Skepta (Rap Version)
[my mum would laugh herself into the ground at this]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Second Time Around – Shalamar
[ain’t going to happen]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Do The Hustle – KC & The Sunshine Band
[ha. Chineke. This thing na oracle o]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Coupe Bibamba – Awilo Longomba
[your guess is as good as mine]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Just a touch of Love – Aurra
[been there, done it]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Lucille – Kenny Rogers
[Allah seriki!!!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Ashikeke – George Jahra
[Ghanaian song - rythmic]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Instrumental – Nigeria National Anthem
[lol]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stay Just A Little Bit Longer – Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs
[God forbid]

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Laffy Taffy - D4L


I tag Omosewa and Sherri (because I know they go under the radar with these tags and escape)