Saturday, 15 November 2008

Confessions of a Weary Traveller

I find it difficult to believe that I have not blogged for almost 3 months. A myriad of reasons but the prevailing one is laziness. I was always going to post something ‘today’ or ‘tomorrow’ until it all gradually became remote. Even my one-year anniversary in October went unheralded. Ok, I do believe I’ve now beaten myself up sufficiently.

So I’m in an airplane last week on the way to Lagos awaiting take-off. The woman next to me is reading a newspaper and then makes a phone call to her friend to proclaim ‘Jesus is alive’. She obviously sees Obama’s election as a celestial event. I was initially fearful because I had been unfortunate enough to have sat next to another bible-reading, fervent-praying, wildly-gesticulating woman on a trip in June, who ended up having an argument with two other passengers and three crew at different times, leaving me wondering about what I might have done to deserve the torture of my allocated seat. Why do I always end up with these people? In truth, the Jesus-is-alive-cos-Obama-won woman turned out to be really nice if you could ignore the ‘praise Jesus’ and ‘God lives’ that she interposed with every sentence and we chatted for most of the trip.

Still on divine intervention, I had my iPhone with me and realised I did not have the pin with which to remove the sim card, so I could change to my Nigerian sim. I was loath to ask the crew for a sharp object for fear of being labelled ‘Taliban’ and simply wished I had a toothpick. I looked down and right by my foot was one of those individually wrapped toothpicks. Now, you’ve got to bear in mind that this was a freshly cleaned plane and we were yet to take off. I spent the entire flight vainly looking to see if I’d find another. My own miracle!

I will not even talk about the two spoilt kids who screamed and cried for four hours right from before take-off. It was all I could do not to get up and slap them upside the head, and then their parents too if they deigned to complain.

And the stupid girl who spent 15 minutes complaining to the Stewardess as she could not get a space in the overhead compartment right over her seat. Does it take a Stewardess to explain to a Nigerian that the lockers are not allocated?

Lagos was fine as usual. I was distressed about the Uzoma girl’s story as it was just breaking when I got in. On Wednesday I visited the Trade Fair, which reminded me of how much deterioration has taken place, six hours for a return journey that should have taken one, on arrival running a gauntlet of mainly aggressive Igbo traders who were selling clothing and footwear seconds all over the Fair grounds.

49 comments:

Remi, United Kingdom said...

First!!!! this post makes me miss home lol.. looks like you're having good fun via your travelling.
Have a great weekend..

LG said...

cheii ITS A LIE?!?!?!?!

LG said...

just confirmed it.......
WELCOME BACK!!
now let d parry begin :-)

fantasy queen said...

jintas back!!
okay i'm embarrased to say i always use a pin/sharp to change my sim on my iphone :(
is that really the wrong way?

naijalines said...

Hmmm...
Welcome back.

joicee said...

first time here ..read all your posts lol

Isn´t it funny the way peeps are taking the Obama win as something that actually happened to them personally...I´m sure the woman proclaimed that Jesus is alive because she probably prayed and fasted for the miracle ..wow

For the love of me said...

So you think you can just walk back in her just like that? No way, you have to go to all ur fan bloggers and leave and apology.Or else....
Lol at the Jesus is alive woman, religion has almost become the cause/curse in Naija. I bought a scale in traffic some days back and asked the guy if he was sure it wld work, and he said it would work in Jesus name.Wetin concern jesus with bathroom scale?
It is good to have you back.

Sha said...

My dearest,
i figured ure away cuz i havent seen u around, do bring me something oh and i aint even joking.
have fun
mwah

30+ said...

E gbohun soke e korin ope.

Jintacious in the hood.

Jaycee said...

I cannot believe you didn't blog in three months myself. Jintus o...

Thanks for confessing...God is good!

miz-cynic said...

it must hv bn more dan 3 monts o cos my addn u 2 my blogrol startd lukn rily stupid as u hv not postd anytn snc i joind blogger n i joind in jvly.read al ur previous posts thou

Jinta said...

*remi - i wish i could have something that would trasport me there automatically without having to go through the travelling bit.

*lg - thank you, lg. would i lie to you?

*fq - yes dearest, i do believe that is the wrong way

*naijalines - many, many thanks

*joicee - thank you.

Public holidays, street parties, sleepness nights, but nothing compares to the stupid woman who heads the nigeria security exchange and raised funds under 'nigerians for obama'

*for the love - i will presonally apologise for taking you for granted

i am quite suspicious of random Jesus-spouting people.

*sha - be careful what you ask for, sha, you may get it

*30+ - thank you. i'll try to stay 'in the hood'

*jaycee - you will not believe how much i missed you

*miz-cynic - my last post was in August, but i take your point and i am honoured. I will behave myself henceforth

Buttercup said...

Aww welcome back!

Wow, what a flight..

Buttercup said...

Aww welcome back!

Wow, what a flight..

Jinta said...

*buttercup - happy to be back

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

iwo, jintus, ti m ba mu e bai!

Clearly I cam by here right before you updated and I saw nothing. Now you are talking about being a weary traveler.

mmmmscchhewwwww

lol! Glad you are back my brother. We all misse dyou.

Of fto read!

bumight said...

Jinta is back!!! Jinta is back!!!! Jinta is back!!! Jinta is back!!! Jinta is back!!! Jinta is back!!! Jinta is...

Shubby Doo said...

welcome back o!

lol...what is with you and the types you end up with in a plane...one of your previous post on things you dislike…(specifically people stretching on airplanes) comes to mind...truth is they exist on every flight so don't let them bug you so much

p.s
watched the Uzoma video (a link via naijablog) i was saddened...will we ever move forward in Nigeria

Jinta said...

*ms sydelle - missed you too and 'jintus' always makes me smile

*bumight - i suppose 'thank you' is in order?

*shubby - for my sins, those that annoy me in airplanes

Omosewa said...

My Jintus peperempe, i missed you! Thats a really nice miracle, anything is possible. I'm a very busy lady nowadays...

Doja said...

JINTA! JINTA! JINTA! I was going to file a missing persons report on monday.

AlooFar said...

Welcome back.

Beautiful writing, as usual.

Jinta said...

* 'sewa - from being very bored to very busy. could you not have taken the middle ground?

because words cannot describe how much i miss you, i will not write it down

* doja - i'm sure my kidnapping and torture is someone's fantasy, thank God for good people like you

*aloofar - thank you, my brother

Bond Girl said...

Hello, 3 months???? I haven't been on blogger that long but I understand why you were missed.
Funny- Jesus is alive. He is oh!
Stupid girl- A lot of Nigerians have a sense of entitlement about everything.
Lagos-my home. Thanks for the nostalgia!
Amazing blog man.

OluwaDee said...

Wr have you been?

Lol @ the spoilt kids.

9ja peeps always have to much load when travelling.

Allied said...

welcome back oh.. i thought my eyes were seeing things when i saw your comment on dr naps page.

Sherri said...

kabo oh!
i have missed u!
turn ur left cheek(face please)
muah!

In my head and around me said...

Ah, you beat me to it....

Jinta said...

* bond girl - thanks ever so much. my head swells

* oluwadee - been skiving.

the girl's carry-on must have been 30kg

* allied - thank you. missed you guys too much to stay away for ever

* sherri - i hope you realise i turned my face to you at the last minute

* in my head - hopefully, not in all aspects of my life...

Onome said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww baby..........u don dey visit lagos often ooo dats nice.....tpo bad am in abuja now...we for meet...

Sha said...

check ur fb inbox whenevr u cn :)

(¯`·._.·[***Fresh&Fab***]·._.·´¯) said...

does your iphone work in Nigeria??? did you have to do anything to it here b4 it can work there, or it just works.

Because im hitting naija in 3 weeks, I don't know if i shud leave mine or take it.

welcome back oh, and happy belated anniversary, i don't blame you my brother, laziness is a useless disease.

Anyway, hw bodi

Jinta said...

* onome - i agree

* Sha - will do

*fresh - the first generation iPhone works and i have it open to T-Mobile. I also have a 2nd generation 3G one which stubbornly refuses to be open and will only work on 02. So if you're on 02, it will hook MTN in nigeria and they will whack you on roaming charges

body dey inside clot o, fresh.

Omosewa said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwww*wipes tear* im so happy i came here tonight, im going to bed blushing.I know, i just said on my FB status that im working on balance, not that anyone cares, lol.

Mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(very wet kiss). Have a fun day.

darkelcee said...

this is Lagos......open your eye oh! and enjoy your stay.

ShonaVixen said...

as i make for the exit door, you come back!!!Glad you're back

princesa said...

You know, I was at the trade fair too and was amazed to find that the whole place have been overtaken by the traders.
Where are the BIg companies that used to grace the fair in years past?

I guess they are no more interested.

rethots said...

...no matter how long we are absent, we always do return.

TheAfroBeat said...

Welcome back o Brother Jinta!! It really has been a while.

Of course there always has to be the token screaming kid on a flight to naija...though i don't think one can ever get used to it.

Glad to hear Lagos was good in it's own way though. It's never a cut and dry story with that place...but you've gotta love it, don't you ;)

Kin'shar said...

wow, you had mad problems on the flight to hell...lol

I hope my trips to Lagos never be this intense. Welcome back.....was tired of holding my breath (ooogh)

Jinta said...

* 'sewa - i'm still dripping from wet kiss

* darkelcee, abeksy - i don leave lagos reach one week now o. you know kuku lend me your laptop

* shona - dont go too far please

* princesa - shows you the state of the country, does it not? the Fair used to be the poshest of places when i was young, along with the national theatre

* rethots - indeed, you are so right

* afrobeat - for my sins, i do love lagos so

* kin'shar - thank you. please exhale now before i am accused of murder

Ms. emmotions said...

jinta !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ehen, compliments

Abbie said...

Whao, where have I been? 42 comments already. Better yet, where and how have you been babes?

Jinta said...

* ms emmo - thanks jare. i hear you've been a way awhile as well

* abbie - where have YOU been? i promise to make myself more prominent

FFF said...

lol. wen i enter d plane, all i want to do ois rest. i don't want to chat, hear babies cry (& yes, i've been tempted to slap up both baby & mother), whinning brats etc. i just want to sleep!!!!!

d Uzoma story really got international attention, but unfortunately it did nothing to stop Nigerian esp d govt 4rm acting like brutes. have u heard d brouhaha abt Ribadu, his wife & kids been manhandled out of his graduation just cos he disagreed wit d govt! we'd got a long way 2 go mehn

FFF said...

& u tee oh 4 dis ur disappearing act. i don begin dey wonder weda u & afrobabe eloped together. abeg, my broda, u get idea where that babe dey?

Jinta said...

* fff - not just ribadu o, a banker friend phoned me from lagos last week - she was slapped my mopol for using a phone in front of another bank, while trying to get the details of the a/c she wanted to pay into.

dont know where afro's got to, maybe some of the penis pictures she displays are getting their own back and will not let her go

guerreiranigeriana said...

...jinta lives!!..hurrah!...hmmnnn...so people really actually use their cell phones in naija?...i guess that's part of the reason i bought the one i bought, to use internationally...ok...maybe do that with mine...interesting stories here...i'll have to come back later...need to finish some readings and precis writing...just wanted to stop by and say hello...

dScR?Be said...

U'VE BEEN BLOGGING??!!! Unbelieveable!! wow... school has REALLY taken a toll on me!