Monday, 17 March 2008

Adufe, ololufé mi (Adufe, my love)

Adufé, a few days ago before I left you to go to bed, I looked deep into your eyes with the promise of a long day tomorrow. We were happy with each other. I knew I would be getting up early in order to mount you and let you do what you do best – drive me crazy with pleasure, a special delight that would last almost three hours tomorrow at the crack of dawn, and another three in the evening. I was a content man.

When I got up in the morning, I prepared myself quickly and rushed to your side to begin our enjoyment. To my fury, you had been raped overnight. The forces of darkness have struck again, my jazz-wielding friends have done what they do best – come out under the cloak of darkness to defile the pure. Otá aje; omo oju’orola ri, to bimo, t’oso ni Olaniyonu Olawumi (enemy of industry; one who has never experienced wealth but gives birth and names the child 'wealth has problems, I desire wealth').

My journey was long and my time short so I did not have much sentiment for you that morning. I made am instant decision that my affair had to be with Abedó. This had not been my plan. As you know, Abedó is thirsty, loud and wild, and always tries to bring out the feral in me, besides, I prefer for our liaisons to be at night; nevertheless, it was she that accompanied me on my journey to Wokingham that morning.

As I take you to hospital the next day, I muse that you have been besmirched. I also ponder whether to share this with my blog friends, decided to because of the trend in recent posts about male violence against females and wondered if this would be classed as a violent act, since it was perpetrated by a woman. Is it even the more violent as money is yanked from my wallet to pay the excess charge on your insurance (Americanised version: deductible – thanks, Sherri) for the replacement? Incredibly, some ask, what did I do, as if it takes one person’s actions to turn another evil, as if evil actions can ever be justified in any way.


Abedó

For the next few days until Adufé is well, my darling Abedó, you will give me passion during the day and at night. You are magnificent as well and have your own particular skills, quite untamed. The man that tries to tame you will probably end up broken.

Spare a thought for Akanké, the ageing tart. She is the craggy one that gets dumped on, she is second-hand and still trying to be relevant, is now jaded and menopausal, but perhaps still gives some pleasure to the desperate.

PS Adufé is now well and back from hospital

96 comments:

Afrobabe said...

I am first so it's got to be a good week!!!

Afrobabe said...

lmao...u don kolo finsih oh...so na motor u dey make love to this early morning....

anonymous gal said...

oh my blogger jinta has lost it.

Ms. emmotions said...

gosh !
jinta, this is the romantic U that is out in the open,
ALas! he is romantic....after all
abedo ? hehehe lmao

Nyemoni said...

You are a bad husband! Si you fashied Abedo for Adufe eh? And now, you are back...now that Adufe is ill...Men! Will you ever change?

Jinta said...

* afro - of course, it's going to be a good week. my cars are loyal

* anon gal - thank you, my very best friend. i agree o, the trauma is enough to make one lose it

* ms emmo - you can't help bt be romantic when you have abedó

Jinta said...

* moni - i know it will cut no ice with you if i said 'variety is the spice of life', so i wont

Nicky said...

Notwithstanding the fact that your precious Adufe is now defiled and will never be the same, you are able to articulate the trauma with such poetic prowess.

Brilliant!

Have you ever loved a woman that way?

guerreiranigeriana said...

nicely done my friend...i had to read this twice o!!!...i was thinking, 'ah, how could this woman have been raped in the night and he didn't know?...and where was he rushing from to be by her side?'...it came together later...great metaphor...i love word play!!!...glad she's back, but who defiled her?...

Jinta said...

* nicky - i think i might have loved like that, many moons ago, but i will say a car will never sneak about in the night to destroy my property

* g-nigeriana - thank you, my warrior. i knew you would appreciate it

The Indecent One..... said...

jinta, just so u know i aint speaking to u no more...i saw the way u ignore my plea 4 money abi? no wahala...man must survive.

this is goodbye. I quit ur blog1 bye!

The Indecent One..... said...

and pls not every body understands yoruba jo...

**still not talking to u**

Jinta said...

* inde - from pouring hot water on 'papi's head to not talking to me. i beg you, how will i survive if you dont talk to me? i'm on my knees. you know i will miss your energy. i have xferred the money.

Jinta said...

* inde - erm...any luck with selling the lappy as suggested by sha?

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

Jintahh, you are madd,lol, that was a great read, i really enjoyed it

"let you do what you do best – drive me crazy with pleasure"

"To my fury, you had been raped overnight"

Omosewa said...

Are you saying someone you know who did that??There's no excuse for such behavior...

LOL@you adding pepper to injury.

Be careful Jinta dearest...

What does Abedo mean?

Isi said...

...Akanké, the ageing tart. She is the craggy one that gets dumped on, she is second-hand and still trying to be relevant, is now jaded and menopausal, but perhaps still gives some pleasure to the desperate...

Isi said...

...interesting bit of information

Desy said...

rotflmao- this was so poetically humorous... carro amore is nothin to play with...lol

glad to know she is doing well (unlike my love...:tear:)

Isi said...

i think abedo is cool...but with the scars of rape on adufe she might have been cooler...

notwithstanding i think abedo would make u a happier man...

lol!!

it is less emotional to love a car, i sooooo envy u!

i think i'll start a (serious) love relationship with my shoes...

beautiful soul said...

EYAH!!! good to know adufe is recovering from that traumatic experience, hope you also paid for therapy o.
I like what you said about evil. so true. na wa o.

Jinta said...

* fresh - something tells me your proclamation of my madness is a compliment. lol

glad you enjoyed it. 'we' aim to please

* 'sewa - the short answer is yes, of course. who else but jazzy ex?

abedó means abedó. omosewa, when did youruba become a problem? you're trying to get me into trouble?

* isi, fine girl - how can you say it's less emotional to love a car? i've been thru the whole gamut of emotions with the rape of my beloved.

try a relationship with your shoes - you will find that they dont turn round to destroy your stuff

* desy - your tears are always appreciated (lmao!!), only i dont believe you are that soft, your mind is too analytical.

Jinta said...

* beautiful soul - chineke! i forgot about therapy!!! Ok, it's me and therapy this weekend - it's going to be hot. thanks for reminding me

Omosewa said...

Lmaooooo...i knew there was something about that name. I defined it in my head and thought iro ni, it cant be.Chei...no comment:D

You and ex should make love, not war...

Jinta said...

* sewa - you probably thought it was your fertile mind over-working when you defined it in your head. lol at 'iro ni...' i could just imagine your face.

about the ex, i beg, as my friend MJ said: i'm a lover, not a fighter (in a very high pitched voice)

Uzo said...

LOL....Awww..

I knew this wasnt literal and i am so glad that i figured out that it was about cars...

So you still havent spilled all the beans about what you did to someone to incur such wrath...In between this post and Laspapi's Spanish mistress post...are you sure you guys dont discuss this stuff before hand?

The Indecent One..... said...

jinta! Jinta! Jinta!

how many times did i call u?

meanwhile, so wats the deal with chics bashing men's car?? i really dont gerrit. Personally i think it's a cowardly act sha......they cant bash u so they go 4 ur property. Hiss!
no matter wat u did...anyway, lemme shurrup b4 they track my ip sef..lmao.
Jinta hun, check ur email 4 my acct number...thanx in advance :D

Jinta said...

* uzo - lmao. i haven't even seen laspapi's post, not had the time, but will see it this evening when i get home.

great minds think alike?

* inde - i already sent the money o, all N100. and i did not even receive the email

Sherri said...

how romantic!
do u treat ur women like u treat ur cars?

glad ur adufe is out and about.

Jinta said...

* sherri - yes, sherri, although my experience strongly argues against it

30+ said...

Lmao, oro man yi ti su mi mehn, which kain name did you give to your cars.

So that was your car that was attacked, eya kpele.

Ota is plenti than enemy but na you go win dem.

Jinta said...

* 30+ - amin.

the cars and i have a strong relationship based on mutual love

bumight said...

pele oko adufe! If anyone tried that with my Aduke, It will be war!
at least u still have Abedo...and if the worst comes to the worst, there is still Akanke, lol!

hope Adufe will come back forgetting every memory of the rape, lmao!

Jinta said...

* bumight - adufe is back, i have to take it easy on her

Ms. Catwalq said...

e pele. e ku itoju won

u still owe us the story behind the story and why is that you Yoruba men must have the razzest names for your cars. My dad's too was called Aduke. hated that bitch after a while

soupasexy said...

LMAO LMAO, jinta u are so effing hilarious....i got tears in my eyes reading this ish...lawd have mercy on u!

Onome said...

hahahahahahaha....dont worry adufe will be alright..i understand der was an urgent need dat just HAD to be satisfied..if not u'd have nursed adufe back to wellness urself..but its all good..wishin her d best and for u second girl abedo...u a bad friend to her u dont send her except u're in a mess..now who's d last one?? Jinta u hol' ooo..u and i suppose hook up(wink!)

Uzezi said...

aha! U almost lost me there, thinking u were talking about a woman. So a woman did that to you? I hail her oh! U must have really wronged her terribly. Just the other day I asked my friend how far she has gone in showing her anger and she said she broke all the dishes in his kitchen. Jeez! I want to break somenody's windscreen in the nearest future.

Sorry sha oh!
Jintu...Jinta? Ha. So it's u.

TheAfroBeat said...

Gooood one! i knew it wasn't a woman but couldn't quite place my finger on what it could be till i saw the photo. PS. i'm behind...who vandalized Adufe (is her pic the one in your last post)? That must be pretty frustrating to wake up and realise your one-and-only isn't "up to the task"...thank God for back-ups in every situation ;)

Jinta said...

* ms catwalq - the full story was told in this post now...

love your dad and aduke. so sorry, but you would not understand why we choose these names even if i told you

* soupasexy - amen to that. glad you liked it

* onome - abedó has her functions too, but like i said, she's loud, very loud and wild.

* uzezi - so you think its alright to smash things up when you feel wronged?

"Jintu...Jinta? Ha. So it's u" - yes, it's me. lmao!

* afrobeat - adufé was vandalised by a very bad person and thank God for backups o! yes, the 2 posts are related.

Akanimo said...

he he you are very funny

this is a very romantic thriller

love it

Uzezi said...

ha. u need to smash a little once in a while. it makes u feel better and him mad, and at times, it makes him love her more. haven't u heard of those women who get beaten by their men, they come back and say they love them the more for it. stupid. anyway sha, after smashing, the makeup will be very romantic. don't mind me. i'm just a romantic.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

ooooh weee! Jinta! Jinta! Jinta! How many times did I call your name? Useless pickin! I am laughing my butt off over here. lol!


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

Jinta said...

* akanimo - a 'whole' romantic thriller? thank you. glad you liked it

* uzezi - i cannot agree with you more about 'make-up' romance, but if anything's going to be smashed, it will be more of a turn-on for me if it were not my property. lol

Jinta said...

* solo - 3 times, ms sydelle, 3 times

For the love of me said...

I thought I left a comment earlier

Tandra said...

had i known being no.1 was such a big deal....man!!! ((grins))

one qn dude, you name your cars???

tis good to know the other is back from hospital..

Desy said...

look, i've been known to get sensitive every now and then...lol; and i know how bumps and scratches hurt~ so i'm feelin your pain with you... unless you'd rather me take care of it with hugs and kisses....?

Jinta said...

* for the love - oh no, you did not

* tandra - i think most men do, one way or another

* desy - sensitivity once in a while will suffice, and i'd rather hugs and kisses than empathy. lol

The Indecent One..... said...

bia, jinta..so how cars u get with customised plates? meanwhile e be like say i know u o....
so the plates on the mercedes, is dat Xinta abi Yinka? and u aint rite 4 dat 100 naira....aint up 2 a pound sef...hiss

Sherri said...

that was a trick question dude

Uzezi said...

u popular oh! lots of bloggers know u. so wetin be the story? hell has no fury. what did u do to her now? or is that worth sharing with us?

Jinta said...

* inde - i'm scared that you may know me

N100 is actially 42p @ 240 = 1. lol

* sherri - i suspected as much, took me some time to come with the 'right' answer

Jinta said...

* uzezi - haba, you wan' make i expose my backside like chicken bottom wey wind blow?

lol at a lot of bloggers know me - that's news, for i only know 1

Simi Speaks said...

*shaking my head and x'ing out. i wonder what he did tho. he's refusing to share the gist*

Jinta said...

* simi - i wonder how many people would believe me if i said 'nothing'?

careful you dont shake your head too vigorously. lol. all i did was go to bed.

Simi Speaks said...

na lie! give us ur own version of "nothing". let's be the judge.. am waiting

Honeywell said...

this man has lost it.... :) i was worried at first that you were talking about a woman, only to find out it was a car.... why are men so, so, so...... i don't know, eerily passionate about cars? ugh!

Sherri said...

that was the wrong answer dude!

fantasy queen said...

sometimes i wonder if i should have been created a car, i'd get more loving and attention from the fellas, crash them or breakdown when they try to be naughty...

just read hell hath no fury...do spill the gist pleasse*in a tiny lil girl voice, batting eye lashes vigorously*

Queen of My Castle said...

Fantasy Queen is too cute, batting her lashes and whatnot.

This post was hilarious, once I realized that you were infact referring to a vehicle, not an actutal woman. I think you are missing a few marbles, though. LOL

Nine said...

Custom plates?You never didn't strike me as the type.

The Indecent One..... said...

lol @ nine. I was gonna say too. From his posts I was thinking he wasn't like dat....as customised plates kinda pesin..

Jinta, I'm not even gonna spk anymore abt the money issue. Suit ya sef!

Sha said...

LOL

Jinta.. lmaooo u crack me up mehn..so what exactly happend?? na dat wan we wan hear oh, my loff :_D

Sha said...

Indecent one.. LMAOOOO abeg leave ma husband for me oh...
e nor do :o

Jinta said...

* simi - nothing happened. went to bed, woke up to the atrocity. to answer your question directly, i know who did it and i think i know why, however, she did not call me up and say: i'm going to smash your car, so whatever i tell you will be guesswork

* honeywell - that's an easy question. our cars are passionate about us and treat us right

* sherri - perhaps you will teach me right answers, so that my life will be easier in future?

you know i'm never going to win with a trick question

* fantasy Q - i bet you'd have had a few amazing rides had you been created a car.

the 'beans' have already been spilled by the title: 'hell hath...'

* QomC - only because i feel safer around my cars

* nine - lol. what type did i strike you as?

* inde - N100 not enough? haba!

please do let me know what type you thought i was. always fun to see oneself thru another's eyes

* sha - i beg, help me harrass inde

Uzezi said...

@ fantasy queen - I feel u. they love their cars too much! should girls get such attention, the guys will be so pampared and overspoilt by us wt love.

I rest my case Jinta. u don't have to say. I can imagine. Of course she wouldn't call to tell u she was going on a smashing spree! What fun would it be then?

Omosewa said...

Jintaaaaaahhhh the only cockroach in my blogville cupboard...mwahhh

Jinta said...

* uzezi - anytime you decide to turn into a car, you can be my rolls royce (as soon as i can afford one)

* 'sewa - i can think of many other things i'd like to be to you rather than a cockroach in your cupboard, but i'll settle for that. lol

have a nice one over the easter period

darkelcee said...

adufe and abedo and to say my native name is abeke?

please can u change the names of ur rides? polly,snoppy or anything cos u next car might be abeke.lol

pele. thank God adufe is doing great. loll

Jinta said...

* darkelcee - polly ke? do you feel any passion when you hear polly or snoopy? it is all abt passion and love!

i would never name my cars abeke since you share that name with my mum - so, to me, from this day henceforth, you are special, lara abeke.

Pink-satin said...

abedo ko..adufe ni

Desy said...

adufe got a shout out in my blog dialogue...lol;

*giving cyber hug*... and ummm... where do you want those kisses *slow smile*....hahaha

Uzezi said...

happy happy Easter. Hope Adufe made u so Happy Today.

Sha said...

Jinta mi owon, lol wotchu doing on the 5th of April? I wanro invite u to ma bday thingy.. holla bk...:-D

Aladura said...

I have read this blog article over and over and over again and again.

Every issue points to 'LOVE'. Even the 2nd paragraph has the connotation.

The 2 paragraph also depicts a WAR. Please take it easy.

I think the previous blog comments on this article are BALANCED.

Omosewa said...

Jintuspeperempe(lmao, im sure you dont like that name)...please update, i need to laugh!!! Thank you kindly!

Uzezi said...

happy after Easter. Hope u had fun.

Uzezi said...

happy after Easter. Hope u had fun.

darkelcee said...

i share the same name with mumsy?
that'sweet. sebi i will pay for sharing her name abi no be so for yoruba land?

guerreiranigeriana said...

omo, come and update!!!...nonsense!...;-)

The Indecent One..... said...

so jinta shall be there on the 5th of april......interesting....dude have my dough ready o!

princesa said...

LMAO!
You didnt fool me dude.
From the onset i knew it was about ur cars,lol!

Glad Adufe is okay back and bouncing!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

okay, so when will you update?


NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE...

the young nigerian virgin said...

ROTFLMAO!!! i often hear that men love their cars more than their babes...some call their cars 'my baby' na wah o!!!

first time here. love ur blog!

Eve said...

sorry about ur babe. i mean, ur car.

Jinta said...

* pink satin - haba!, pink satin, please remember the 11th commandment: thou shalt not attack a man's manhood

* desy - no prizes for the answer, it should be obvious. lol

great, will go take a look

* uzezi - thank you, hope you had a nice easter too.

glad to confirm that adufé performed the way only she can

* sha - thank you. please email me

* aladura - its all about love, believe me, all about love

* 'sewa - you test the bounds of my love for you when you call me the peperempe thing. lol

i don update o

* uzezi - trust you had a brilliant easter too.

like the new hair style

* darkelcee - hmm, the price is expensive o. indeed, it can be described as 'priceless'

* g-nigeriana - you know that when you call, I obey. I have updated.

* inde - maybe i should do d/d for you since you did not seem to appreciate my N100

* princesa - you caught on too quick. maybe you were a man in your past life? lol

* ms sydell - now?

* young naija virgin - that makes 2 of us in this virginity business, although i am not 'young'

our cars are usually very nice to us

* eve - thank you ever so much eve. i know you feel my pain, the residue of which i still carry with me

Omosewa said...

Lmao@you being a virgin...virginity is a state of mind sha, so its okay.

Okay i'll find something a little more sexy...:D

Jinta said...

* sewa - course i'm a virgin and there's only one way you can prove otherwise

waiting for your 'contra'-peperempe name

doll said...

waaaaaaaaaaat a car.....*shakes head* men!

ablackjamesbond said...

Ota Ajr...[enemy of industry]

...luvg ur translation skills

Jinta said...

* doll - shaking head with you

* jamesbond - thank you jare

Woomie O! said...

happy belated birthday to you!!!

hope you did something fun.

i love this post, you're something else...and YES! you need an Adufe that's NOT a car.

what??! you have 92 comments on ONE post...this is better than dt FACEBOOK shit!

Jinta said...

* woomie - thank you. i had fun and all

i need an adufe that's not a car? real-life ones scare the living daylights out of me

Woomie O! said...

When you're scared of something...like really scared,
TRY IT ONCE, just to get over the fear...
THEN TRY IT TWICE, to KNOW what it feels like...
THEN TRY IT THRICE, to decide if you like it or not.

if you've done all three n u're still scared, sorry, there's no four...stick to cars.


'if you didn't know better'??? what's dat???

in case u're wondering, Papi told me ur b/day...i like to send b/day wishes.

Jinta said...

*woomie - lmao about there's no 4. i think i'll stick to cars, they're safer even at 100 mph