Wednesday, 6 January 2010

The Dearth of Romance

So, I have not written in awhile and as time rolled on, it became increasingly difficult to reign in the pull to different directions and other interests, however, here I am.

I would wish you a happy new year but I'm sure that everyone you know, down to their comatose great-grandmother has wished you one, even those that hope you do not have one, which makes me reluctant to add my voice to the chorus.

It took a few minutes for me to decide on the title to this post – 'death' or 'dearth', 'death' or 'dearth', 'death' or 'dearth' – and I settled for 'dearth' because I believe romance exists, not as much as it should, not as pure as it used to be, not as sweet as it can be, but it does. Besides, I do not want those hidden blog warriors to have a fit, after all, its a new year and I have to conform to convention in some form or another.

Years ago (and by that I mean many, many moons ago) and growing up, one could go out and end up in a romantic encounter. Boy meets girl or vice versa. They exchange telephone numbers. They spend countless hours on the telephone just chatting, day dreaming, exchanging slum books, always hanging around their houses or those of their friends in order to catch a glimpse of one the other with hearts ready to jump out the throat and it usually did, even though the girl or boy lives just a street or two away. Juvenile? I think not. The reality was just different then.

Today, boy meets girl or vice versa. They exchange telephone numbers. They spend countless hours on the telephone just chatting, that is after the girl 'flashed' the boy, they have lunch at Tantalizers where boy foots the bill, girl asks for some money to recharge her card, and then for some more to catch a taxi home (this is the girl who alighted from an okada an hour ago).

Or you take an evening out. You see a red hot girl and you dance with her. Its going all too well and you realise you're on the wrong path after you buy her the second drink and she asks if she would be going home with you. While we're on the topic, does anyone know of any place in Lagos where you can have a nice evening out and you don't have to be wary of your dancing partner?

Before you say it is a Naija thing I do believe its not local to Nigeria. I have been out to dinner many times and seen my companions make no move to pay. Of those that have offered and I accepted, one looked like she was going to cry.

But (yes, I know, never start a sentence with 'but') romance is not dead. There are still people who look each other in the eye and smile without uttering a word. There are those you go out with who will fill you with comfort and display old fashioned consideration. The smile in their eyes and the softness of their voice. Their self-consciousness just because you're looking at them. The text messages that make you smile. The time they have for you and your thoughts. The longing for the voice of the other. The exchange of songs, mostly meaningful. Voices that have a special melody to them. Peculiarities, idiosyncratic ways that are cute. No, they do not ask for recharge cards but rather purchase one for you when you run out of credit. They sometimes take you out and buy you lunch.

There is a dearth, however, it is not dead.

39 comments:

miz-cynic said...

is it me or jinta is supposed to meaning"ogbologbo" in yoruba ijinle language.

i've missed u on here.ur cynicism is also very refreshing.should i say welcome back.

NoLimit said...

Welcome back and compliments of the business!
Still laughing at your analysis!!!
But quite true!

Mogaji said...

Yay! welcome back. Let's settle for romance has evolved abi?

Naijalines said...

Can't get past her wanting to cry. I'm still laughing.

'Spot on' post. Welcome back.

Rita said...

Jinta, Happy New Year. I like you analysis of back in the days vs now. I dont see why the babe should not want to cry...did you tell her she was going to pay? lol...we like to give guys respect :-)

Hope you are back to stay and wish you life to your romance...

Jinta said...

* miz-cynic - missed you too, and yes, it must be you. "ogbologbo" ke? you want to expose me? lol

* no limit - to you too

* mogaji - quite right (although it occurs to me that evolution usually denotes improvement)

* naijalines - thank you, and thank you

* rita - lol. she offered and i accepted.

i will not say amen to your prayer

joicee said...

Ahhh..Jinta you don come again with your unique twist on such topics...here is to hoping that romance is not dead jare

Welcome back!

musco said...

... there seem to be a dearth of recent posts on this blog!

...intresting read.

Jinta said...

* joicee - thank you, fingers crossed

* musco - i agree. i'm trying to pay restitution

Suru said...

first time on your blog,I think romance is just rare but not dead at least that's my hope lol

mizchif said...

Gosh, i am late oh!
Who are all these people before me.

Hello, Mr Jinta, i must say i have missed you a great deal, with your 9 month disappearance and all... good to have you back ( i hope)

Funny that your return post is about Romance......but yes, it's true, there is a dearth but Romance is definitely not dead.

Rita said...

Ah ah Jinta...why wont u say amen? or not just yet? :-)

fantasy queen said...

Ahhh, jinta, I have missed u. I don't care who's granny has said happy new year to u, I'll join in the chorus. Happy new year. Poor chic, I always have enough cash in the purse whenever I offer to split, luckily I haven't gone out on a date with you so I never get pay, but I always score a point for offering:) thankGod for traditional egoistic naija men.

darkelcee said...

happy new year

laughing real hard at this post. welcome to the future

Uzezi said...

how can romance die when I haven't killed it? I woulda wished u a happy new year too, but Im sure everyone already did.

Fashinga said...

Jinta has updated!!!!!! wow...2010 is gonna be a great year!!

Loved the post. i agree with your conclusion....Romance is not dead..At least not for me...lol!!



Later luv!!
F

Enoch said...

Dearth or death? How about undead? Maybe it's just my paranoid pessimist self but a good number of 'romances' I've seen l8ly come off as poor acting performances akin to bad B-movies rather than heartfelt gestures.

It's dead but some still insist on 'Frankensteining' the damn thing.

n1ceblog.

Queen of My Castle said...

I've missed you...

Doja 2.0 said...

Jinta, Jinta,jINTA!!!!!!!???????????????

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Jinta...aahhh

na your 'eye' be dis?

Happy new yam!

Myne Whitman said...

Welcome back and happy New Year. With this post you have captured me. It is totally true and I'm a witness! LOL. Will be back...

rethots said...

"...look each other in the eye and smile without uttering a word."

...you know someone once said the best conversation you can have is to sit on the couch with another, say nothing and when you get up, you feel you have just had the best conversation.

Now, that is called 'depth' which is what we ought to celebrate in relationships and not 'material worth'.

...were you absent?

AlooFar said...

Wow, I like this.

Mr. Jinta, how are you?

StandTall-The Activist said...

How are you J?

StandTall-The Activist said...

found this analysis interesting

過年嚕 said...

向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。 ..................................................

Rayo said...

True words. Serious dearth of romance but thankfully, still alive.
Women are not the only 'flashers', some men too do that. Have an ex who is always on his last credit and just always flashes to let me know he's thinking of me. Right before 'can i get mtn card?'

FFF said...

everybody don comment 4 this post, including those we been no know say dem still dey blogville! d power of jinta! up u, my brother.


my feminism no reach where i go dey spilt bill wit man o. unless na my buddy buddy & i know he is broke, den i'll pitch in, or even bear d whole bill

Pink Satin said...

wow!been a while since i visited your blog!off to read

Pink Satin said...

lol @ she looked like she was going to cry!!maybe that was her last penny o!

Jinta said...

* suru - welcome.

not too sure, i say let's kill romance once and for all and know where we all are going

* mizchif - glad to be back too.

it was something that prompted the post

* rita - take your time o!! lol.

* fantasy queen - missed you too dearest.

i lost all ego some time ago. i'd better invite you out if you would do be the honour of coping with my company. that way, i can have second seconds.

* darkelcee - how is you?

* uzezi - where have you been?

i suspect you do have the power to kill romance

* fashings - lol. thanks.

* enoch - a man after my own heart. are you sure you're not my brother by another mother?

Jinta said...

* queenie!! - my crush...missed you too

* doja 2.0 - how many times did you call me?

* my sydelle - a happy one to you too

* myne whitman - i like the word 'captured'. i add another two: 'no escape'. lol

* rethots - i dont know o, i can see the strength of the picture you paint, i just think i'm too base not to try something while we're sitting

* alofar - thank you and thank you

* stand tall - thank you. glad you did however, your neutrality is palpable

Jinta said...

* 過年嚕 - you too

* roya - lol at your mtn man. i use glo myself, what are my chances?

* fff (free flowing fire) - how are you now? you know you and i are buddies, so you're paying!

* pink satin - you should visit more often

Tatababe said...

:) at "Of those that have offered and I accepted, one looked like she was going to cry."
This post had me smiling all the way.....but I think it's a fair observation.

Jinta said...

* tatababe - thank you

doll said...

Welcome back...bn a long whiiiiiiiile

LMAO at "alighted from an okada an hour ago)".

I agree there is indeed a dearth

Sherri said...

what happened to the cynical dude?

olaoluwatomi said...

ABout to cry ke? How much did you both eat abi na spend! What happened to sharing the bill? LOL

prashant said...

Welcome back and compliments of the business!
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